Lets Talk About Tofu...

    It seems as though there are endless food options when one can eat anything. The world, as well as every menu in every restaurant, appears to be bursting at the seems with options of delightful dishes created from the finest trained chefs. The problem with this is that none of these dishes are options for me at this point in my life. So, what does a food lover like me eat? Well, I have set out to answer this exact question.
     I love to cook. I love to learn cooking techniques. I love plating a beautiful dinner, placing it in front of my family and enjoying it as a masterpiece. When I first made the switch to Vegan, I was concerned that. I would not get to explore my love for cooking. I have found in the recent few weeks that is not true. I am changing the way I eat therefore i am changing the way I cook. I am also changing WHAT I eat. Here is where this story really begins...
     Yesterday, I decided to really expand my horizon. I decided to cook and eat blackened tofu. A mistake that I can assure you will never happen again. I have used tofu in a recipe for chocolate icing which turned out beautifully. I have used it in a recipe for mac and cheese. I have used it in pasta. I have never eaten it plain. Just a slab of cooked tofu. I'm sure I did not cook it totally right however, it will be a long time before I ever do that again. It isn't that exactly tasted bad. But I just couldn't get passed the texture. It was very spongy.
    To be quite honest, Im not exactly sure what Tofu is. I mean, what is it called when something can be changed into any texture and take on the flavor of anything? Come to think of it, there are lots of people who are just like a slab of Tofu. They change to match the texture of of those around and take on the flavor of whatever they are being seasoned with. But, when they stand on their own, they are just kind of spongy.

                I have learned that I dont like Tofu. I have learned that I dont want to be Tofu.

On Being Vegan...

     This evening, I had my biggest culinary feat to date....but lets back up a few months...

     10 weeks ago, I made, what I believe to be, a lifesaving decision. I became a Vegan. People who become Vegans do so for a couple different reasons. Some want to make a stand against animal cruelty while others are in it solely for the health benefits. Me? I am in it for health. Back in January, I received a less than thrilling doctors report. The conclusion of which was that I needed to make some lifestyle changes. So that is exactly what I did.
     In addition to not eating animal meat, being Vegan also means that I dont eat dairy of any kind. Well, when I made this switch, I didnt just want to eat differently, I wanted to think differently also. So, I have been snatching up any book I can on the matter. I have always loved cookbooks. I read them like novels and always have. Well, my birthday was yesterday and my husband bought me what I consider to be the best Vegan cookbook yet! Vegan cooking for Carnivores! LOVE!
     I sat on my couch yesterday devouring every recipe like it was cheesecake. Which I found a Vegan recipe for, by the way!  I ran across a recipe for homemade pasta that is made from Tofu... I know that most of you are cringing now and probably telling your computer screen that Tofu is nasty. But one question before you judge. Have you ever had it?
     I am cosistantly amazed at how many things Tofu can be made into. I have used it for mac and cheese, chocolate icing on an avocado chocolate cupcake and now, to make homemade pasta. I have been craving a filled pasta for about a week now. But every filled pastas are usually filled with cheese, which I cant have. So what is a girl to do? Make her own!
     Homemade pasta, made from Tofu, veggie grounds and Tofurky Italian sausage, fresh basil grown in my herb garden, roasted tomatoes and whole garlic cloves, a pinch of sea salt and a dash of pepper all came together to give my taste buds a magical treat! It was spectacular! I made homemade pasta for the first time in my life. I can say with much confidence that i will be making this meal and many variations for years to come.
     Tonight, i had several victories and several strong pushes toward my healthy lifestyle. I ate the most delectable dish i have had to date. My kids ate every bite. And I learned how to make a healthy pasta!
PASTA!!!!! On that note, I have one thing to say...lets be Vegan! I can do this! I will be healthy and live a long healthy life! Observing this past week in my family and the health issues that have been brought the forefront of our lives, I am more motivated than ever to stay on this journey.
     There are times that it isnt easy but that is life. Whereas it may not be easy, it is necessary.
                                                   What is necessary, always wins!

                                     So, here is to healthy, a long life and...well....pasta!

The Conclusion of the Matter is This

     I woke up this morning to a decorated house, happy birthday banner, balloons and a fireplace hearth full of presents. My 2 year old son started bringing me presents while singing his rendition of the happy birthday song. I then opened gifts from my husband, kids and a great friend. Yes! It has been a great day.

     I turned 32 today and I have to say, I still like my birthday like Im 5. It is true. I love the day, love the presents, love the parties, love it all. I am pretty sure, however, that my passion for this stems from my passion about everything. I tend to have one of those personalities that dives head first into whatever it is that i am doing. This can be both a strength and a weakness. Strength in that everything i do is done to the best of my ability and gets 100%. Weakness in that sometimes i go overboard with what i say and sometimes what i do. I will say this, the parts of this that I enjoy are definately the strengths. I love not being indifferent about people, events, gifts, holidays and friends. This day would not be near as fun if I was an indifferent person.

     So,  at 32, I purpose in my heart to continue my journey to health, with all the passion I have. I will continue to follow Gods will for my life and serve our ministry with all the passion I have. I will be the best wife my husband can have and the best mother to my children with all the passion I have. I will open our home to anyone who needs it and do it with all the passion I have. At the same time, I will continue to work on my weaknesses, with all the passion I have.

     The conclusion of the matter is this, even at 32, by birthdays are still teaching me things. I wonder what next years lesson will be...

We will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord

     This past week, in the Brooks family, has definitely been one for the record books. Some might think it challenging, tiring, maybe even unbelievable...us, however? What do we say about it? We say,

 "The peace of God which surpasses all understanding shall keep your hearts and minds in Christian Jesus." Phil 4:7

     This past week has been a very good reminder of 3 life sustaining facts:

1) God is good

     He is faithful. He is good. He is always one step ahead of us. He has us taken care of us before we know we need to be taken care of.

2) He always has a plan 

     Just because we don't know it doesn't mean He doesn't have one. His plan is perfect and will somehow end up with us benefiting. If we can ever just trust that He has a plan, then we don't have to worry about coming up with one. All we have to do is follow it. 

3) Family is a wonderful thing to have by your side

     I have always thought that my family is exceptional. We are close. We are friends. We have meals together, celebrate birthdays together and enjoy holidays together. We work together because we believe in the calling on each others lives. We laugh, cry and forgive. Yes. I have always thought us to be exceptional, however, this past week has given me a new view of family. My great grandmother created traditions that my children still participate in and as a result, we are there for each other through the good times and the difficult times. We aren't there for each other out of some sort of family obligation but because we dont want to be anywhere else. 

     Sitting back and observing our family at work, I was encouraged once again to instill in the hearts of my children the importance of family. I am reminded of a scripture, "I will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord." Psalm 78:4

     Because my great grandmother did this, my grandmother did this, then my dad did this and now it is my turn. Because I want the results, in my family, that they have in theirs, I will also. 

     Even though this has been a more challenging week than most, we will stick together, recover with grace and enjoy one more memory as a family in tact.

Even in trials, there are blessings. 

Even in fire, the Lord never leaves us. 

     No matter what situation you are facing tonight, find comfort...for this too shall pass...a lesson I learned from my family...

Remember the Way Home

     When I was 5 years old, my dad started Applied Life College. Every September, we welcome with open arms, into our hearts and our lives, a group of young people. We have them in our homes, they bond with our children, they sit around our dinner tables and on our couches, they join us for family movie nights and birthday parties, we hold them when they cry, make them soup when they are sick, we rejoice when they overcome and push when they need motivation.... and then, after 9 months, they leave.
     We hug their necks, pray for them one last time and watch them walk out the door, all the while, praying that they remember all they have learned. It is a heart wrenching pattern that my life has followed for 27 years. To make it harder and at the same time, easier, about 3 weeks after they leave, another group of amazing young people bombard our lives. Summer camp begins and with it, bring the laughter of our All Summer Staff. Even though our time with them is much shorter in comparison, the impact they have on our hearts is just a deep. After they have made an everlasting mark on our lives, they leave.
     We hug their necks, pray for them one last time and watch them walk out the door, all the while praying that they remember all they have learned. Today, I said goodbye to the LA students, like I do every May. We have 2 weeks before the staff arives on the ranch and it is amazing how quiet this time in our life is. So many people have walked through the revolving door that is our hearts leaving their own special footprint on their way. Even though these times are difficult, I am thankful for each season. 
     It has always been my prayer that these young people who find their paths crossing ours will find a connection with our home that runs deeper than the events of life. I pray that those who have been raised in broken homes find stability in ours. I pray that no matter where life takes these young people, no matter where they live or who they become, no matter how far away from us they get, whether they come from our college or our summer camp, no matter how many years they may gone,

That They Will Never Forget Their Way Home.

Dedicated to the Applied Life College and Internship Students and the Brookhill Ranch All Summer Staff 

Who I am inside

       There is a song sung by Christina Aguilera during the credits of an animated movie called Mullan called Reflections . It's all about not recognizing yourself when you look in the mirror. It is here that I would like to begin this blog....
      I am 2 month's and 2 days into my Vegan Lifestyle. It didn't start out easy but I must admit, it has gotten easier as the days have passed. It seems like I have been on or getting on a new diet since I was 12.   And for some reason, none of them have proven long term successful. I have been on Weight Watchers, Slim Fast, Nutrisystem, Atkins, no sugar, no preservatives, and every other diet that has been invented. Actually, every one of those that I mentioned, is the truth. I have been on them all... And nothing has ever worked.
     I think I may have figured out why...every time I started a new diet, I did so with a certain weight set as my goal. When I had been a few weeks on and not seen the results I thought I should see for the sacrifices I felt like I was making, I would become disappointed and quit. So, it is with this new revelation that I have set a new goal for myself. It is not a weight goal but rather a time goal. I started on this journey to health in January so I think it's only fair that I give myself till January of 2013 to reevaluate my success or failure in this new endeavor. I must say, being held to a time and being set free from the scale has liberated me in a whole new way. Because I am held to a time, if I step on the scale and haven't lost as much as I thought I should have, it doesn't affect me like it normally would because weight is not my goal here, time is. Which means, I have nothing but time to achieve it.
    I have also learned that it is not a month by month thing, nor a week by week thing but rather a meal by meal thing. It's a million different choices made at a million different times during a million milliseconds. Choice by choice, I will travel this road to reach my goal of January 2013.
     That being said, I am going to Florida with my family in 2 weeks and I have 3lbs to go to reach 20lbs of weight loss. So, I'm working out harder than I have been, counting every calorie and drinking so much water that feel like a flowing river...and still, I know that a healthier me exists. Maybe she is just deep down inside, buried under this extra weight but with every good choice I make, I'm getting closer to seeing her. I saw a picture of me over New Years and I actually had the thought, "Who is that?". Who I see myself to be in my mind is not the woman I see in pictures. Everyday I get up, exercise, weight train, choose green tea over coffee, choose a banana over a pop tart, choose water over a diet coke, I know that I'm one choice closer to becoming the person I believe myself to be.
                                 I am one day closer to my Reflection matching who I am inside...

In Jesus Name...What A Powerful Statement

Dear God,
   I know that you must be busy with all the wars, world hunger and lost souls but if I may have your attention for just a moment, I would be thankful. My request may seem trivial compared to others needs however, it is of most importance to me. I am humbly asking for health... That's it. That's all I want.

Health for my children:
     That their little bodies resist the bacteria and viruses that make up the schemes of the devil.
     That their immune system would function like You designed it to, in all Your perfect wisdom.
     That they would be able to enjoy every day to its fullest.
       Furthermore, I reject the thoughts that sickness is a part of raising children. I cling to the knowledge I have that health is mine and my families through the power of Christ. I will not walk in fear for my children's health nor will I give into satan or his evil ways. He has no authority over my kids and their health. In the powerful, mighty name of Jesus.

Health for my grandparents:
     I know that it is Your will that we live a full, happy and prosperous life until the day we come meet You face to face. I ask for my grandparents to walk in Divine, supernatural health until their time on earth is done. I ask for restored taste buds to my grandmother, for the feeling to come back in her lips and for her to enjoy every moment of her life from this moment forward. I ask that you would touch my grandfather and take away all fear and confusion from his mind. That strength would return to his body and he would be able to complete the work you have for him to do.

For my Cousin:
     That his body would not be injured anymore by the devastating effects of chemo. That his lungs would   perform the way they were designed to. That his body would have the strength it needs to fight. That the powerful blood of Jesus would run through his veins cleansing him from every infirmity. Every infirmity.

For myself:
    I ask that as I continue down this new lifestyle of eating that my body would continue to heal from the inside out. My cholesterol would come down, the pre diabetes would cease to exist, that my body would line up perfectly with your original plan for it. That my sinus would respond and my eustation tubes would begin to work.

     Lord, I understand the power and authority I have when I speak your powerful name over my circumstances. I understand that ALL of the devils plans fail when you take control. I understand that fear and faith cannot coexist but most of all, Lord,

                                            I understand that you hear me when I speak to you.


                                      It is with that understanding that I ask all of this in Jesus Name...

Weakness on Display

      Tough lessons are apart of life. Learning them and giving them. This weekend, I learned a very tough lesson about myself and about my weaknesses...Tonight, my son learned a tough lesson about not taking his sisters movie out of the DVD player while she is watching it.
     I understand that no matter how difficult the lessons life provides, there are only 2 responses: You can either run from it or learn from it (to borrow a line straight from the script of The Lion King). Neither of the responses to life lessons take away the pain of learning it; however, only one produces a better life.
     So, as my son and I go to sleep tonight, we will both be remembering the consequences of bad choices but as we rise tomorrow, pride still hurt and hind end still bruised, we will look forward to the day. We will wait, with anticipation, the opportunity to be faced with the same choice knowing that when given the options, we will succeed this time.

     After all, isn't that what life is made up of? Opportunities to fail or succeed...what, I wonder, when faced with a chance to put your weakness on display, will you choose to do?

It's just baby weight...

I'm am laying bed so sore I can hardly move my legs. 

Why? You may ask. Because 4 days ago, I did a Ketlebell workout and it left me in pain even 4 days later. At the first of this year I made a decision to turn my health around and I got into a work out routine and have done a pretty good job of sticking to it. Then, 6 weeks ago today, I made another health conscious decision...I became a Vegan. Yep! You read it correctly. A Vegan.

Everything I have read about a plant based diet has been very convincing. I am trying to get into shape and get my body healthy for the first time since...well...never mind .

All of the testimonies about this way of eating were so encouraging. Everyone just said how they had boundless energy and the weight just plummeted. As you might guess, that is not what happened to me. I don't have boundless energy and I'm pretty sure that I'm teetering between an ounce and an ounce and half of weight loss. There could be a reason for this being that during the last week, i have consumed potato chips in copious amounts. Whereas potato chips do not have a mother, making them technically vegan, they do hold zero nutritional value. 

Even though there is no excuse for letting my health slide over the past few years, I have come up with several good reasons: I've been having babies. Never mind that may youngest is 2. I feel like I have gotten as many miles as "It's just baby weight" as I can. 

I am also one of those people who despises exercising with every fiber of my being. It doesn't make me feel better about myself nor does it give me energy.

Another reason is that I have kids. And everything that goes with that. For some reason, the strep throat bacteria has decided to take up residence in our family. Dr appointments, crying babies, countless nights of no sleep, more crying babies and more no sleep... That is the kind of stuff that just makes a person NEED a big bowl of mac and cheese. 

However, I choose to keep my health a priority. So, as I lay in bed, without a fever ridden child by my side for the first time in 3 weeks, I pray that we make it through the night, I catch up on and live vicariously through Diners, Drive Ins and Dives, sip on some water and drift of to enjoy some much needed sleep...So, in the name of health...I bid you goodnight.

Stay at home mom...

     There are so many benefits to being A stay at home mom. I love that my office is my house and my kids are my job; I love that I get to have 2 really cute breakfast and lunch dates everyday; I love the days when I get to sit outside in the sun and watch my kids play in the sprinkler...yes, it has its benefits. That being said, I have never done anything more difficult in my entire life! Managing a home, laundry, vacuuming, dishes over and over again...all day long, making beds, watching over my kids health and what's on TV, who their friends are and the games they are playing at school. Setting my alarm every 3 hours for nights in a row checking the heads of fever ridden children...not to mention our church involvement, family business, planning and preparing for feeding interns and staff while planning birthday parties and doing more laundry and dishes...

     It is a good life but it is a tough life. What is the hardest part of all, for me at least, is to know what to let go. I like a clean house. I don't like things on the bar in my kitchen, I don't like mess and clutter, I prefer my floor to have vacuum lines in it and for my bathroom to smell like pine sol..... These are things I prefer. So the problem then becomes, we'll, I guess it becomes another problem that all of us stay at homes can add to our, list of things to figure out...

     We can file this problem right behind the bills that are due...

Moonlight and Moments

     Today I moved out the changing table and toddler beds out of my kids room and replaced them with big kid bunkbeds. Their eyes lit up when they saw their new room and big furniture. My daughter wanted to eat her dinner in her bed... After we tucked them into their new beds, gave kisses and said bedtime prayers, I closed the door to their room and looked outside the glass french doors and into the moon  soaked yard. I saw the light settling beautifully on 3 tiny pieces of furniture, a changing table and 2 toddler beds...there they were, sitting empty just waiting to be carried off...I have to say, it was quite a moment. I enjoy my kids more and more the older they get but as I looked upon the baby furniture sitting in the yard while my kids were sleeping soundly in their new beds, I was hit with the reality of my situation.

     There are so many things about mothering that no one bothers to tell you before you bear and give birth to a child... I say this very thing to my mom quite frequently, actually. For instance, no one told me how badly it would hurt to watch my kids get hurt or how my heart would be ripped out of my chest when I had to lay my daughter on ice packs to get her fever down while she cried out about how cold she was or how with every changing season, there is a little mourning period or...how after every mourning period, there is gladness...

     So as I mourn the loss of a significant part of my babies childhood that I won't ever get back again, I look forward to tomorrow...Why? You may ask...well, it's a birthday in this home. My daughter turns 5! Even though saying goodbye to her toddler years is tough, I look, with great anticipation, to the memories I have yet to make.

     So, goodnight beautiful moon. Who knows what you will be lighting up tomorrow night...