Mile Marker #1! One Year Vegan!

     Well! This is it! ONE YEAR VEGAN!!! I did it. This is the blog I have been waiting to write. This night, one year ago, I watched a documentary called  Forks Over Knives and the next morning, I woke up with a resolve to be different and... I was. For the first time in my life I made up my mind to do something about my health and I did. Although, my lack of weight loss and the ultimate decision to take a cholesterol pill has been a huge devastation to me, I feel as though I am hard enough on my self the majority of the time and tonight, I choose to focus on my accomplishments.
    
    I am so proud of myself and I reserve the right to be so! Many people might think this year has been difficult but in all actuality, it hasn't. Once I made up my mind to do it, I did. The first 6 weeks were hard because I didn't know what I was doing and I wasn't educated but the more I learned the easier it became.

I have learned so many things this past year:

• I learned that I can do anything I make up my mind to do.
• I learned that I don't need anyone else to do what I'm doing for me to be successful at it.
• I learned that I am allergic to Dairy! (Big One)
• I learned that it doesn't matter how many disappointments I may have along any journey I take, I have the drive to continue.

The biggest lesson of all?
     I learned that health is not a goal, it's a journey. Achieving health can't ever be something I finish doing. It's not the tape at a finish line that I run though and then quit and go home. Health is lifetime of Mile Markers. One good decision after another. One day, one week, one month, one year, one mile marker at a time.

     So, where does this Mile Marker leave me? I made a commitment to be off dairy and meat for one year. I did that. Now, I feel like I have a grasp on what is healthy and what is not and what my body can tolerate and what it can't. I am going to continue to stay off of dairy and red meat. Like I said, I have learned that I have an allergy to dairy (chronic sinus issues) and I have been diagnosed it with high cholesterol (red meat). No matter how many times the Dr tells me it's genetic, I will not own that diagnosis. I don't accept it and I will continue to fight it until I see the day when I am able to be taken off that cholesterol pill.
     I will be adding some fish and deer meat to my diet. Not on a regular basis but it will be added. I might also add in some grilled chicken on a very limited basis. I don't think that chicken has the health benefits that fish does and I actually enjoy my chicken alternatives very much. I am happy with these choices and I feel as though I can maintain my healthy living with an 80/20 Vegan Lifestyle.
     I also have a renewed vision for weight loss. This renewal started about 6 weeks ago and has continued since then. Let me be honest here, if I may. I understand that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and I am not discussing my self worth or self esteem. I feel like, in my case, the high cholesterol might be linked to the extra pounds I am carrying around. This is the reason for the desire to loose weight. It is not my goal to be a size zero nor is that something I am striving to reach. Once again, health is my goal. If my health goals had all been reached changing my diet and not loosing a pound, there is a possibility I would be just find where I am. The goals were not reached, therefore, further action is required of me.
    
     I want to live every single day of my life to the fullest. I want to be around for my children, grandchildren and great children. I want to be able to travel with my husband when we are retired. I don't want the last years of my life to be dreadful and long for everyone who is around me because of my lifetime of bad choices. I love my children more than that. I love my husband more than that. I am worth more than that.

     Thank you to all of those who have encouraged me throughout this year. Thank you for reading my blogs and staying updated on this journey. I assure you, there will be many more posts to read from here on out.

     So, it is with a sense of accomplishment and a smile on my face that I briefly wave good bye to this last amazing year and as I pass Mile Marker #1, I turn my focus to reaching Mile Marker #2... Who's With Me?

On My Own...

     OK. So, this blog is a very difficult one for me to write. In fact, yesterday would have been the day for me to write it but I was so upset that I literally could not type. I went to the doctor last Thursday to have another blood test done. I was told, last year, when I started this journey that I had many medical concerns. High cholesterol, a very fatty liver and pre diabetic were among the concerns. The doctor told me that he thought most of these could be controlled with some weight loss. Thus began my venture. Even though I have maintained that overall health was the focus and not weight loss, I knew that I ultimately needed that to control the health concerns from my doctor. Back in September, I had another blood draw done. It revealed wonderful and encouraging results. I had lowered the fat in my liver to almost none, I was no longer pre diabetic and my cholesterol had dropped 100 pts. Even with this 100 point drop, it was still much much higher than it should be. The Dr wanted to put me on meds to control it but I asked for more time to control it with weight loss and diet. After a very frustrating several months of no weight loss, I went back to have my thyroid checked. So, results came in yesterday...
  
      Nothing wrong with my thyroid. No weight loss and no explanation. Because there has been no weight loss, I had to be put on a pill to control my cholesterol. You have no idea how painful that was. I cried more yesterday than I have in years combined. That is NOT what I wanted. Taking that first pill was so difficult. I am 32 and I shouldn't be in this place of a pill every day. The nurse told me that if I lost some weight, I might able to stop or reduce the pill. I almost yelled at her through the phone, "I AM TRYING". When I say I am trying, that is exactly what I mean. I am exercising as much as I can. 6 days a week. I am counting calories. I am eating less and exercising more. Which, in fact, is what my Dr and Nutritionist told me to do. Both of them said, and I quote, "You have spend more calories that you are taking in. Then you will lose weight." Right! Sure! That's how it happens for most people. But apparently, not for me. Which leads me to my frustration... Why doesn't the things that work for other people work for me? Truth is, I don't really want an answer to that.
 
     Every other time in my life that I have wanted to get health and lose weight, there has always been something else I could do. I wasn't doing everything I knew I should do. That is not the case here. I'm doing it all. The Dr told me it was a plateau...A 3 month plateau? Seriously? I'm sorry, I'm just not buying it. Other people don't go through month long plateaus. It's a catch 22 really. I don't want there to be something wrong. I just want an explanation and no one can seem to give me that. Of course, the Dr talked about diet pills, which I don't want to be on. Then there was the surgery option. But truth be told, there is no way I qualify for that nor is my health in that kind of jeopardy, nor do I want that! I want to do this on my own. Not with a pill or surgery. I want to work hard, have a healthy diet and a healthy lifestyle of working out my heart and I want that to be enough!!! I am willing to work hard. I am willing to make the necessary changes. I want to be off this cholesterol pill.

     I don't need a pep talk. I'm not quitting. I am just upset and frustrated. I am mad that I'm working so hard and it's not paying off. Ok. There is a silver lining... the Dr said that I had the heart of an athlete. Physically had the heart of an athlete. He said he could tell by the way it's beating that I have been exercising and that was the good news of the day. So, where do we go from here? I am continuing to work as hard as I can and I am taking my cholesterol pill every day. In a way, I am glad that I am doing what is necessary to stay healthy for my family. I am thankful that I didn't have a stroke and then find out that I had a cholesterol problem. I will continue my quest for ultimate health. In 6 weeks, I go back to the Dr for another blood draw. We will see where I stand then. Prayerfully, my efforts will begin to pay off before then.

     On another note: 4 Days from now, I will have been Vegan for 1 yrs... what a bog that will be...

The Ultimate Frustration

     O the mixed feelings I am having today! It is no secret that I have been working on my health and have now taken on the weight issue. This is where frustration begins and continues. I have had tremendous results in the health dept! And, I am happy... no ecstatic, to announce that I am officially 10 days away from being Vegan for ONE YEAR!!!! This is, without a doubt, the longest I have ever stuck with something related to health and wellness. I have been on fad diet after fad diet and they last about a week, sometimes 2 and if it's working at all, maybe 3 but a year! I am so proud of myself the discipline I have had and the results I have gotten... however, that is for another blog. (Check back in 10 days for that one).
    
     This blog is about the frustration that seems to be tied to me and weight loss. About 5 weeks ago now, I began counting calories. I discovered that the things that were good for me had far less calories than the foods that weren't, so, as a result, I have been eating crazy healthy! Spinach every single day, salads, vegetables, quinoa (which is un believably healthy and delicious I might add). These foods also fill me up much better than junk and I am able to go from breakfast to lunch without wanting to eat the kitchen table because I'm so hungry! (Don't judge, you know the feeling!). Anyway, I have also uped my exercise routine. Once again... I have added a mile to the already one mile I have been walking. On the mornings that it is too cold to do my walk/jog, I do Pilates... which leaves me wanting to pour Epsom salt directly on my body!. In fact, yesterday, I'm pretty sure I almost killed myself jogging. I decided to go a further distance with the jog than I had been. Well, I think I over did it! By the time I got to my door step, I was in so much pain in my lung region that I was in tears! I couldn't take a deep breath, I was coughing up what I think may have been parts of my lungs! It was a beautiful site! I was sweaty and begging God to keep me from falling right on the ground on my front porch. What a testimony to my fitness level! Love it! Anyway, back to the point...
  
      I have been trying... harder that I have been in the past year, to get some weight off. Which,  incidentally, is what my Dr told me to do. Last January, as I sat in his office going over the blood test results, he grabbed my leg right above my knee and squeezed the fat and kept repeating, "You just have to get some of this weight off." Awesome! Well, I got my health under control but I have not done the first thing he told me to do... I have been trying... but for some reason, my body refuses to drop the pounds. I have NO idea why!

       Some people get off sugar and loose 20 lbs. Others just start working out and loose 60 lbs (Like my hair dresser). Then there are some that simply cut out cokes and have boundless energy and are down 35 lbs... When I do ALL of these things, I hold steady... in fact, over the past 5 weeks, I have lost 7 lbs, then gained them ALL back... so I am right back to where I started. Actually, I'm worse off. I lost more from Jan to March last year the gained 10 lbs back and there I have remained...

     Why? This is the question that has plagued me... I have had my thyroid checked and it is fine. Which is GREAT! I don't want there to be something wrong. I want to do this on my own, with my own hard work. I want to make the changes and get healthy and the weight results I should be getting. It is scientific that when you eat less calories than you spend, you will loose... I'm doing that! By quite a bit, actually. So, what is the deal? I have scheduled an appointment with my Dr tomorrows to ask him this exact question! You know what I will be he is going to tell me? To keep going. Which regardless of what he says, is my plan. I am not stopping. I am doing this for the health benefits for the rest of my life. I will be healthy until the day I meet Jesus. I won't let my poor eating habits be my downfall. I won't be that person. I won't be going to Dr when I am 80 wanting them to fix the damage that I did to my self. That won't be me. So, I am not quitting. It would just be nice to have an explanation as to why the rest of the world can stop looking at sugar and loose a million lbs... Hopefully, he will have some insight that I do not.

    Until that day comes for me... I pray that through your every single frustration, you keep going.

 I will...

"Mommy, I Won"

 Today was an exceptional day. (O yeah, sorry for the long time between blogs. I will catch you up on what's been going on during the last 3 weeks but for now, I have something really amazing to tell you)

Today was an exceptional day. Let's start from the beginning... Last night we had dinner at my parents house and, on occasion, we engage in some sort of conversation. Last night's topic was "Parenting".

It was mentioned that some parents think about what would be fun and end up doing that instead of what would be best for their children. Lots of things are fun, however, some things are more beneficial than others.

Mike has been out of town all weekend so I have been a single parent. I have had some help from babysitters this weekend so it wasn't as taxing as it could have been, however, I have still been the sole parent of these children. So, I woke up this morning looking forward to Sunday afternoon. We were not having lunch at my moms like we normally do because she had prior obligations. So, I was going to come home, get everyone in comfy clothes feed us all lunch, put Carson down for a nap, put CC watching a movie in the guest room and myself, sitting on the couch catching up on reruns of Big Bang Theory. Fun times awaited!

When I got to church, after having quite a trying morning, my dad told me that he was taking my niece and nephew to a horse show and wanted to invite me and my children. Was I interested?

Nope.

I wanted to go home. However, the more I wrestled with my own thoughts, I came to several conclusions: If I were to go home, Campbell would end up watching a movie all day. I would end up getting upset at them at some point for not getting along. The day would end up being forever long.

OR

I could change their clothes, pack a sack lunch, forgo Carson's nap and live with the consequences and be a good Mommy.
Campbell needs to be with her Poppi and cousins. She would benefit more from being outside around horses, learning how to be around them, learning how to interact with them in a show setting, socializing with people, than she would at home watching a movie.

So, when dad stepped off the stage from preaching, I had made my mind up to choose to be a good Mommy and have a much more difficult afternoon for the ultimate benefit of my children. He walked over to me and I said, "We are in." He then told me to get CC in one of her show shirts and he would enter her in the Lead Line Class!

Things were picking up! CC was going to be in her first horse show! WOW! Had I made the right call or what?

So, we did just that. Came home, I threw some sort of cheeze it and koolaid combination in a Wal Mart sack, dressed my daughter in her jeans, belt, cowgirl boots and western shirt and out the door we went!

45 Minutes later, she was atop her horse and being led into the ring by her 7 year old cousin, Olivia. Liv is a child that I thank the Lord for almost every day. She is talented and sweet and she goes above and beyond to help my children. Eli was on his horse being led by Poppi... It was quite a sight!

 

I can't tell express in words how I felt watching her show in her first horse show. It was amazing. I made a call and it was paying off in more ways than I could have ever imagined. There she was, so tiny and beautiful. I couldn't contain my pride!

Olivia did such a good job leading her around that ring. It was one of the most precious things I have ever witnessed... However, it wasn't until she came out of the ring and the judges read the winning name...

5th..... Someone

4th... Someone Else

3rd... Someone Else... Ah O... Seriously! Not even 3rd. Well, at least the experience was good...

2nd...Eli Pate!!! WOW!!!! So Amazing!!!

Long Pause

Longer Pause

1st Place... Campbell McMillan!!!!!!

There is was! Her name being said aloud over the speakers for everyone to hear!

She had Won First Place!

 I started screaming! Shocker...

Dad threw his hands in the air and let out a yell!

Olivia jumped up and down...
Unbelievable! Unbelievable!

 

 

 Most of the time, I won't know if the parenting decisions that I make are the right call until years later when my kids are either a joy or not.

But today, it was an instant return. I was so thankful for the boost. She won First Place in her first horse show! There are simply no words... Although I am trying... I can't find the right ones to describe that feeling.

At the end of the day, Campbell had won a blue, Eli had one a red and Liv... well, Liv is 7 competed in the 18 year old class. She was amazing! So amazing. She competed with kids 4x her age and placed in the top 5 in both classes. Talk about having no words...

 

It would have been easier to stay home, watch TV and relax. Not pack a lunch, not skip Carson's nap, not sit in the freezing cold for 3 hours... Yea. It would have been easier.

 

But then, I would have missed out on hearing.

"Mommy, I Won!"

 

A payment that was well worth the price...