OK. So, this blog is a very difficult one for me to write. In fact, yesterday would have been the day for me to write it but I was so upset that I literally could not type. I went to the doctor last Thursday to have another blood test done. I was told, last year, when I started this journey that I had many medical concerns. High cholesterol, a very fatty liver and pre diabetic were among the concerns. The doctor told me that he thought most of these could be controlled with some weight loss. Thus began my venture. Even though I have maintained that overall health was the focus and not weight loss, I knew that I ultimately needed that to control the health concerns from my doctor. Back in September, I had another blood draw done. It revealed wonderful and encouraging results. I had lowered the fat in my liver to almost none, I was no longer pre diabetic and my cholesterol had dropped 100 pts. Even with this 100 point drop, it was still much much higher than it should be. The Dr wanted to put me on meds to control it but I asked for more time to control it with weight loss and diet. After a very frustrating several months of no weight loss, I went back to have my thyroid checked. So, results came in yesterday...
Nothing wrong with my thyroid. No weight loss and no explanation. Because there has been no weight loss, I had to be put on a pill to control my cholesterol. You have no idea how painful that was. I cried more yesterday than I have in years combined. That is NOT what I wanted. Taking that first pill was so difficult. I am 32 and I shouldn't be in this place of a pill every day. The nurse told me that if I lost some weight, I might able to stop or reduce the pill. I almost yelled at her through the phone, "I AM TRYING". When I say I am trying, that is exactly what I mean. I am exercising as much as I can. 6 days a week. I am counting calories. I am eating less and exercising more. Which, in fact, is what my Dr and Nutritionist told me to do. Both of them said, and I quote, "You have spend more calories that you are taking in. Then you will lose weight." Right! Sure! That's how it happens for most people. But apparently, not for me. Which leads me to my frustration... Why doesn't the things that work for other people work for me? Truth is, I don't really want an answer to that.
Every other time in my life that I have wanted to get health and lose weight, there has always been something else I could do. I wasn't doing everything I knew I should do. That is not the case here. I'm doing it all. The Dr told me it was a plateau...A 3 month plateau? Seriously? I'm sorry, I'm just not buying it. Other people don't go through month long plateaus. It's a catch 22 really. I don't want there to be something wrong. I just want an explanation and no one can seem to give me that. Of course, the Dr talked about diet pills, which I don't want to be on. Then there was the surgery option. But truth be told, there is no way I qualify for that nor is my health in that kind of jeopardy, nor do I want that! I want to do this on my own. Not with a pill or surgery. I want to work hard, have a healthy diet and a healthy lifestyle of working out my heart and I want that to be enough!!! I am willing to work hard. I am willing to make the necessary changes. I want to be off this cholesterol pill.
I don't need a pep talk. I'm not quitting. I am just upset and frustrated. I am mad that I'm working so hard and it's not paying off. Ok. There is a silver lining... the Dr said that I had the heart of an athlete. Physically had the heart of an athlete. He said he could tell by the way it's beating that I have been exercising and that was the good news of the day. So, where do we go from here? I am continuing to work as hard as I can and I am taking my cholesterol pill every day. In a way, I am glad that I am doing what is necessary to stay healthy for my family. I am thankful that I didn't have a stroke and then find out that I had a cholesterol problem. I will continue my quest for ultimate health. In 6 weeks, I go back to the Dr for another blood draw. We will see where I stand then. Prayerfully, my efforts will begin to pay off before then.
On another note: 4 Days from now, I will have been Vegan for 1 yrs... what a bog that will be...
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