Lesson Taught... Still learning

     I have failed. I hate it when that happens. I hate it more when I feel compelled to be honest about it. Maybe we should start from the beginning...

     Last week, we lost one of our campers to the flu. It was a shock to the beautiful family. The little girl who went to be with Jesus was a beautiful girl who loved Brookhill. She has a sister who David and I both know. We found out where the funeral was a decided that it was important for us to attend. So, yesterday, we boarded a plane to Dallas at 6:30 am and attended one of the most beautiful funerals I have ever been to. Her dad spoke with such strength. He talked about the goodness of God even in the midst of this trial. It was encouraging to witness this family find a way to make sure that God received praise.

     After the funeral was over, we headed back to the airport. On the way to the airport, I got a call from my husband telling me that my son had woken up with a fever and so he had taken him to the Dr. At the Dr's office, he tested positive for the flu.... this is where I failed... my New Years Resolution was to be positive. No matter what came my way, I wanted the first words out of mouth, whenever faced with difficulty, to be positive. Well, when I was told about my son having the flu, my first thoughts were negative. I allowed fear to grip my heart and take over my thoughts.

     The most frustrating thing about this whole thing is that I know better. I know God is in charge. I know He has His hand on mine and my families lives. I understand completely that He looks after our health. So why isn't my first response one of faith? Why doesn't my mind trust what my heart knows? There is nothing to great for Him. Nothing catches Him off guard. He is sovereign and His plans succeed.

     Once I got home and saw my son, my heart was put at ease. He is a trooper and not much phases him. We have held his fever at bay with Tylenol and Motrin and his spirits are as good as ever. The Lord always shows himself strong and I'm always overwhelmed by His obvious hand. I am disappointed that my "in the moment" reaction isn't what it should be.

    So, the conclusion of the matter is this... I shall continue to work on getting what I know to be true in my heart to match the words coming out of my mouth.