Because I said I would...

     Sadness is prevailing tonight...I made another HUGE mistake..I stepped on the scale. I know I already posted a blog about this but tonight, I'm suffering more because of this decision. I haven't stepped on the scale since November and for some reason, last Monday, I did. Then, after a week of working out and eating correctly, I stepped on it again and had gained 2 pounds. I know I wrote a whole blog about how "It's not about the weight" but still, it is something that I am dealing with. I wish I wasn't.

     I am so sad. I am mad at myself and extremely disappointed and disheartened. I know you have been there too. Trying so hard to improve something and then realizing all your hard work hasn't paid off at all. I know the big picture here. I am healthy and for that I am glad. But, it still doesn't take away the disappointment I feel tonight. Yesterday, I completed 9 months of being Vegan. 9 months of making better choices and changing my stars where my health is concerned. Still, I find myself sitting here, in my living room, so disappointed in myself and in my efforts. My main goal is to be healthy and I am well on my way. I have made new goals for myself to now, get into shape, however, for tonight, I am sad.

     I do not need encouragement. I am not about to fall off the wagon. I am still in it for the big picture. I just want you to know that I understand where you are. You are not alone and in turn, neither am I. In that, I find comfort. It's ok to be disappointed. It's ok to go through tough times. It's ok to take a dip into frustration. It's not ok to stay there. So, I am giving myself the rest of the night to be upset and wallow in my self pity. Tomorrow, however, I will wake up, get my kids up and ready for school. Make breakfast, pack lunches, take my child to school and return to my  home. I will put in my Kettle Bell video in and do it. Not because I know it will pay off. Not because I know I will be happy with the results. Not because I know I will be glad that I did. Nope. I will do it because last blog...I said I would.

     The next time you want to give up or throw in the towel on a promise you have made to yourself about your health, your money, your tone of voice to your spouse, your word choice when speaking to your children, just remember...you have to continue...not because you want to but because you said you would...