Thank God for Little Girls...

     All growing up, I always thought that I would be a mother of all boys. Ummm... first baby out was a girl... a suprise for sure and I have to say, it was a thought I had to get used to. I wasn't sure that I was going to be a great mother to a girl. Boys, I knew I could handle but a girl... I just wasn't that confident. After a lot of prayer, I knew that I had to trust the Lord to be the mother to a little girl. Once she was born, I fell more in love with her than I ever thought possible. Then, it was time to bring her home from the hospital. I did, and though I was still in love her, she became the most challenging thing I've ever done. Everything has been a challenge: The bottle, the baby food, the sleeping, the napping and now the potty training... Every stage of her life has been a learning experience for me. I have learned my strengths and weaknesses. I have learned that I'm great with cooking with her, making bows for her, making blankets for her and her dolls. I have learned that I have an unmeasurable amount of love for her.
     I have also learned several weaknesses. The biggest one I have is know ing that I don't have it all figured out. I am a very choloeric personality type. I have major control issues. I am extremely organized and planned. Usually, if I don't know how to do something, I just figure it out. I never stay NOT knowing how to do it. Then, she came along. I can honestly say... I don't know what I'm doing... I don't know how to raise her. I have tried for the last 3 1/2 years to figure it out and I still don't have clue. I have been potty training her for a year now.. that's right.. one year! Now, I read the book about how to potty train in a day! Cover to Cover. I have done everything my pediatrician has suggested to me down to the sticker chart on the wall. We've done balloons and presents. We have had so many M &M's that I'm sure this potty training venture will end up supporting our local dentist office. Still... we are EXACTLY where we started one year ago.
     I have said how difficult she is, I have said that I feel as though she is the thorn in my side with the whole failure to potty train. I have cried myself to sleep over this girl. I have screamed into the air outside on my back deck. I have had every emotion one can possibly have over the last 3 1/2 years.
     But when I step back and look at her life, I see very clearly that God was right... He knew I didn't know how to raise a daughter... that's exactly where he wanted me. Not knowing how and being left with the only option of trusting Him. My daughter is the reason I learned how to make bows. She is the reason I make blankets. She is the reason I bake cupcakes in the afternoon. She is why I get to go the park. She is why I get to buy pink shoes and Strawberry Shortcake toys. She is the reason I'm humbled and the reason I have learned to trust the Lord. Through it all, she is the reason for every good thing in my life. Most of all, she is the reason I have learned to rely on the Lord. I have NO idea what to do. I have no clue how to get her to use the potty. I have NO idea how to get her to eat vegetables and drink juice. I have NO idea. 
      There are so many of us who feel inadequate to handle the situation we currently find ourselves in. We know it's a God Thing but that isn't making it any easier. If that is you. If you are finding yourself feeling inadequate then I pray you are able to step back and like I do ever day, see that the impossible situation you are in is what is making you the best person you can be.
     And all I have say is this...Thank God for Little Girls!