He knows and that's all I need to know...

Yesterday I had surgery on my ears for what seems like the millionth time! Long story short, my eustatian tubes in my ears don't work. (Well...let's say the didn't work) The doctor told me that my ear drums were almost completely collapsed inside my head. Which means that I am not hearing very well. They put tubes in my ear drums or what's left of my ear drums to try and equalize the pressure in my head. Today, I became very discouraged and I'm sure it was for no reason at all.

Have you ever had your mind made up about something and set your expectations so high that really, no matter what the out come was, it fell miserably short of the bar you had set in your head for the situation? Well, that's where I was today.

I had put so much hope on this surgery working miracles that when I woke up today feeling like I had cotton packed into my ears, my heart began to sink.

Then the questions start to come: Why am I going through this when I am a woman of faith?

Why do I have to deal with this imperfection?

Why won't the fix that fixes everyone else with this condition fix me?

Then, I am reminded with a still small voice in the midst of my sorrow and pain, questions and disappearing faith...

A simple verse, though quoted often, one rarely thought about:

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for

good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." 

-Jeremiah 29:11

So, what am worried about? Why am I crying? What am I questioning?

He knows the plans... that's all I need to know...