Who I am inside

       There is a song sung by Christina Aguilera during the credits of an animated movie called Mullan called Reflections . It's all about not recognizing yourself when you look in the mirror. It is here that I would like to begin this blog....
      I am 2 month's and 2 days into my Vegan Lifestyle. It didn't start out easy but I must admit, it has gotten easier as the days have passed. It seems like I have been on or getting on a new diet since I was 12.   And for some reason, none of them have proven long term successful. I have been on Weight Watchers, Slim Fast, Nutrisystem, Atkins, no sugar, no preservatives, and every other diet that has been invented. Actually, every one of those that I mentioned, is the truth. I have been on them all... And nothing has ever worked.
     I think I may have figured out why...every time I started a new diet, I did so with a certain weight set as my goal. When I had been a few weeks on and not seen the results I thought I should see for the sacrifices I felt like I was making, I would become disappointed and quit. So, it is with this new revelation that I have set a new goal for myself. It is not a weight goal but rather a time goal. I started on this journey to health in January so I think it's only fair that I give myself till January of 2013 to reevaluate my success or failure in this new endeavor. I must say, being held to a time and being set free from the scale has liberated me in a whole new way. Because I am held to a time, if I step on the scale and haven't lost as much as I thought I should have, it doesn't affect me like it normally would because weight is not my goal here, time is. Which means, I have nothing but time to achieve it.
    I have also learned that it is not a month by month thing, nor a week by week thing but rather a meal by meal thing. It's a million different choices made at a million different times during a million milliseconds. Choice by choice, I will travel this road to reach my goal of January 2013.
     That being said, I am going to Florida with my family in 2 weeks and I have 3lbs to go to reach 20lbs of weight loss. So, I'm working out harder than I have been, counting every calorie and drinking so much water that feel like a flowing river...and still, I know that a healthier me exists. Maybe she is just deep down inside, buried under this extra weight but with every good choice I make, I'm getting closer to seeing her. I saw a picture of me over New Years and I actually had the thought, "Who is that?". Who I see myself to be in my mind is not the woman I see in pictures. Everyday I get up, exercise, weight train, choose green tea over coffee, choose a banana over a pop tart, choose water over a diet coke, I know that I'm one choice closer to becoming the person I believe myself to be.
                                 I am one day closer to my Reflection matching who I am inside...